How To Get Out of Your Own Way and Live a Life You Desire
Aren’t you tired of living a life that drains you, leaving you wondering if things will ever get better? Here’s the hard truth: things can get better — but the biggest thing standing in your way, is you.
Now it’s time to step aside and eliminate your self-doubt.
In this post, we’ll discuss how to get out of your own way and start living the life you desire.
This post lists 6 pieces of advice to help you get out of your own way and start living a life you desire.
IN THIS POST
Why do we get in our own way?
How to Get out of Your Own Way and Live a Life You Desire
Make decisions based on your opinion
Put your energy towards creating your desired life
Invest in yourself
The right time doesn’t exist
Stop overcomplicating everything
Learn from those living their desired lives
WHY DO WE GET IN OUR OWN WAY?
1. FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN
“We would rather suffer in the familiar than be free in the unknown and uncertainty because we cannot predict it. But it is only in the unknown that we can find everything we are looking for” — Joseph Nguyen.
Unfortunately, we’re comfortable where we are now, even if we’re miserable. We don’t exactly know what’s behind the “unknown door” so we just don’t open it — even though our intuition is begging us to go through.
2. SELF-SABOTAGE
Our brain is familiar with our default state of mind — when it’s negative, stressful, and full of fear, we become suspicious when things go well. So our bodies automatically resort back to that default state.
Examples:
Eating junk food after a few days of eating whole foods.
Starting pointless arguments with your significant other.
3. FEAR OF FAILURE
We don’t want to face what will happen when we fail and we don’t think successful people fail.
Think about this:
We don’t think other people fail before becoming successful — we see their success and tell them they’re lucky… even though they stepped into the unknown, faced their fears, and put in the work to get where they are today.
Most successful people fail multiple times before it works out for them. They just don’t share it. So why are we so afraid to fail when we didn’t even know they failed before?
It’s time for all of this to change.
How To Get Out of Your Own Way and Start Living a Life You Desire
1. MAKE DECISIONS BASED ON YOUR OWN OPINIONS
It can be challenging to make decisions when other people offer their opinions. But simply not making a decision, or making decisions that don’t feel right, holds you back from being your authentic self.
The people who disagree with you often don’t truly understand you — your goals, values, and who you are deep down. The respect and support you deserve will come from those who are meant to be in your life.
YOU’RE MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION WHEN:
It feels right to you: You know who you are — what aligns with your values and who you are at your core.
You feel called to take action: You feel that tug and you’re excited for it.
With all that being said, the way you live your life doesn’t affect other people’s lives — no matter how much they claim it does! Once you start prioritizing your own opinions, you start moving toward your desired life.
2. PUT YOUR ENERGY TOWARDS CREATING YOUR DESIRED LIFE
Prioritize energy-givers, not energy-takers, and focus on building the life of your dreams.
Energy-takers:
Situations or people that repeatedly hurt you
Replaying situations over in your head
Complaining
Energy-givers:
Quality sleep
Positive talk (about yourself and others)
Taking action on your desires
PUT YOUR ENERGY TOWARDS CREATING YOUR DESIRED LIFE:
Try out new hobbies
Meet new people
Reflect on yourself
Visualize your desired life
Write down your goals
3. INVEST IN YOURSELF
When you’re lost in life, the best thing to invest in is yourself. Once you find yourself, you’ll feel a sense of direction again.
FIND SOMETHING YOU ENJOY AND GET REALLY GOOD AT IT
Instead of distracting yourself or procrastinating (by scrolling on social media or watching TV all day), find something you enjoy and get really good at it!
There are so many opportunities available in today’s world — you can make anything your career with the resources and technology available.
If not a career, you can make money on the side or have a new hobby you’re really good at.
This will give you something to work towards and look forward to every day so you feel a sense of purpose and direction.
GET HEALTHIER
Health is mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual.
Your health is the best investment you can make. It’s the driver behind everything in life — money, success, relationships, energy, etc.
When you get healthier, you’ll have more energy to build a life you desire and feel more fulfilled.
4. THE RIGHT TIME DOESN’T EXIST
“Shut up. Suit up. Show up” — James Hollis.
You’re never going to feel like it’s the “right time” to get into the gym, end a toxic relationship, or quit your job.
JUST START:
Your plan will never be perfect: Take a small action step every day and tweak later your plan later. You don’t know what the outcome will be, or how you’ll feel until you actually take action on the plan.
Question what’s really stopping you: Is it fear of the unknown? The positives will outweigh the negatives — you’ll see as you continue taking action.
Have a “why” that acts as your rock: What’s going to get you out of bed every day to take action on your desired life? How will you feel when you reach your goals?
5. STOP OVERCOMPLICATING EVERYTHING
“It’s not easy but it’s simple” — Michael Smoak.
Do the habits you would do in your desired life — you know you’ll feel better afterwards. They’re calling to you for a reason.
SIMPLIFY YOUR HABITS TO FEEL LESS OVERWHELMED:
Journaling
Start with writing your thoughts right when you wake up.
Compile a list of journal prompts to choose from.
Write about your day.
Movement:
Start small — follow a Pilates video once a week.
Hire a personal trainer so you don’t have to create your own workouts or meal plans.
Go on a walk after dinner.
6. LEARN FROM THOSE LIVING THEIR DESIRED LIVES
No one is born with the knowledge they have and most people worked for their success.
Instead of comparing yourself to those living their desired lives, learn how they got to where they are today. Use their background and the resources they offer in order to start living your desired life.
NOTICE:
Their mindset: Outlook on life, values, and how they achieve their goals.
How they live their life: Daily actions, morning and night routines, how often they spend time with others.
Their offerings: Visit their “About Me” page on their website, read their books, take their courses.
Final Thoughts
Creating a life you desire is hard. Suffering in the life you’re comfortable with is harder.
Your desired life is waiting for you. There’s a reason you feel called to certain things that aren’t showing up in your current life. But it’s not just going to come to you, you have to take action!
This post lists 6 pieces of advice to help you get out of your own way and start living a life you desire.
RESOURCES:
Visit James Hollis’ website here
Listen to Huberman Lab podcast: “Dr. James Hollis: How to Find Your True Purpose & Create Your Best Life” on Spotify or Dr. Huberman’s website
See Michael Smoak @higherupwellness on TikTok and Spotify.
PIN FOR LATER!
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